Reasons To Be Cheerful #12: Americans

11 Apr

DISCLAIMER: This post might offend some people. They may find it reductionist, crassly stereotypical and poorly informed. They may well be right. But here goes anyway:

statue liberty

1. They Make us Feel High and Mighty

It has oft been said of Brits that we have a sense of moral and global righteousness. Well, if that is so, then thankyou Americans, for justifying it. Your brashness, overzealous nationalism and lack of passports really does bolster English feelings of superiority.

2. The Accents

Gahhhh. What is that nasal sound coming at my ears? Ah yes, it’s a voice from over the pond. But no matter how grating the accent may be, it is almost unerringly loud and recognisable. Ergo, it’s easy to avoid

3. HBO

Game of Thrones, The Wire, Curb Your Enthusiasm, True Blood, Sopranos… I tried to find a bad one to make this funny, but I couldn’t.

4. Customer Service

Here in the UK, we’re pretty happy with a smile and a nod if you’re at a bar; if you’re in a shop, forget it. In America on the other hand, it’s hard to take more than three paces inside a store without a sales assistant offering to help. The former is obviously preferable, but having taken note of their US counterparts, many British businesses are now trying a little harder not to be entirely rude. When the result is somewhere around mid-Atlantic, things are pretty good.

5. Americanisms

They help us remember how right and sensible the original English language is (see point no.1 for superiority complex).

‘I’ll write you soon’ – just doesn’t make sense.

‘I could care less’ – this one does make sense, but it’s the opposite of the sense you’re trying to make

‘Season’ and ‘take-out’ – just no.

(REASONS TO BE PISSED OFF: Relentless self-belief and enthusiasm tends to trump self-deprecation, and I’m pretty sure trump is an Americanism) 

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One Response to “Reasons To Be Cheerful #12: Americans”

  1. William (@wjbuckingham) April 12, 2013 at 5:03 pm #

    ‘I could care less,’ the only ones who actually say it are ones who don’t understand grammar. Everyone else says ‘couldn’t’

    American and British TV are structured differently, so a ‘season’ and ‘series’ are two different thing, although there is more cross-over now than there use to be.

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