Reasons To Be Cheerful #20: The Recession

25 Apr

Today cheers could be heard across the width and breadth of the land as it was announced that we had not in fact, entered a ‘triple dip’ recession. Phewee. I know that for me, at least, it makes all the difference. Since the news, I have been almost literally flooded with job offers. So, before gloomy finance becomes a relic of the past let’s celebrate the best of our recession:

1. A Valid Reason To Use the Phrase ‘Double Dip’

So many jokes, so many connotations and yet, it is linked to something whose actual definition is really just too boring to explain (see: definition of recession). Try inserting a double dip into as many conversations or situations as you can. Just for laughs.

See for 'annoying double dip;

See for ‘annoying double dip’

2. A Valid Excuse For Ambling On

Been vaguely looking for a job for the last couple of years whilst living it up in a fun bar job where weekly pay and no real responsibility means you can go out every night? This is not feckless behaviour. This is a symptom of our broken country. I bet you have an MA too.

3. We’re All In This Together

When George Osborne told the country that we’re all in this (mess) together he missed a trick or two. Namely the fact that losing a third home does not equate to losing your only home. But let’s not get too political/judgemental here. After all, we were all brought together by hatred of bankers and lots of us were brought together by rioting. It’s just like the Blitz really.

United front

United front

Looters united

United at a shopfront

4. At Least We’re Not Greece, Spain, or Italy

Remember the old adage, there’s always someone who’s more in the shit than you are? If not, read and internalise it now for future use. Bring it out next time someone moans about the lack of jobs/credit crunch/welfare scroungers.

If we were Italy, we'd be about to let this man back in Government

If we were Italy, we’d be about to let this man back in Government

(REASONS TO BE PISSED OFF: Noone says ‘credit crunch’ anymore) 

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