Reasons To Be Cheerful #25: Smug Celebrity Couplings

2 May

While you don’t have to be rich, successful and beautiful to be smug, it certainly helps. And in our pond-deep society it’s fairly rare to come across a celebrity who doesn’t tick all of the above. Now when you combine those attributes across two people and create a union, well then you have a different beast altogether. Let’s look at what we can thank smug celebrity couplings for:

1. They Show Us That ‘You Are What You Eat’ is More Than Just a Saying

When smug marrieds no.1, Gwynnie ‘the health’ Paltrow and Chris ‘I save the world with peaceful messages smeared across my knuckles’ Martin spawned baby humans, they took a typically wholesome approach. We already know that Apple, aka baby no.1, subsists on nutrient-infused apples alone (Granny Smith for savoury, Pink Lady for a special treat); and it can only be so long until baby no. 2 reaches his rightful destiny. Yes, we’re talking to you Moses.

Fruit of their loins

The fruit of their loins

2. They Show Us That Platonic is Just as Powerful

The recent spate in celebrity BFFs has seen seemingly-inseparable¬†duos taking over various party scenes and effectively using each other as publicity props. Rita Ora and Cara Delevingne are the latest pair to milk this particular brand of sromance (?) and have barely left the pages of the FeMail since embarking on their whirlwind. Other recent offenders include Nick Grimshaw and Harry Styles who shamelessly encouraged rumours of bumming, and Rihanna and Katy Perry, the former of whom couldn’t quite be bothered to make it to her bessie’s wedding.

Come on, just one more for the paps

Come on, just one more for the paps

3. An Example In Turning Over a New Leaf

Nothing screams ‘end to wildchild days’ like settling down in the country (or Primrose Hill), having a baby or two and embracing a life of domesticity. See Peaches Geldof and Lily Allen (or Cooper, whatever) for prime examples of this. Know that even if you are a 22-year-old hasbeen who’s past their peak and living off daddy, it’s NEVER TOO LATE.

Happy being boring

Happy being boring

4. Nobody’s Perfect

Heidi Klum and Seal: not long ago one of celebdom’s most apparently successful marriages looked like they could weather a storm of even Rebecca Loos proportions. Unfortunately, it was not to be so. A couple of years after announcing plans to launch a TV show where they would help other couples to be as happy as they were, it turned out that Klum was getting with the help. So, as I said, nobody’s perfect.

Who knew this couldn't last?

Who knew this couldn’t last?

(REASONS TO BE PISSED OFF: The smugness never ends. It just moves onto the next relationship).


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