Reasons To Be Cheerful #45: The Internet

11 Jul

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The birth of the internet opened doors for people everywhere. Education and academia at our very fingertips; endless possibilities to learn about all walks of life, newly-discovered species and philosophical theories. Of course, for most people, all this roughly translates as porn. Still though. Reasons to be cheerful…

1. Welcome Diversions

In the 21st century there can surely be no such thing as being ‘bored’ any longer. Even the dullest of office jobs now come with a computer and unless you’re unfortunate enough to work in a Stalinesque environment where they actually expect you to work all day, that means you can do almost anything. Listen to old Desert Island Discs, google image Michael Fassbender, catch up on celeb gossip or Wikipedia the history of Coronation Street. You can also practice speed typing. You might even make it to 90 wpm.

At least seven minutes' distraction

At least seven minutes’ distraction

2. Mystery Solving

It is a universally acknowledged fact that the most annoying thing in the world is to be beset by the question ‘what have I seen him/her in before?’. Thanks to imdb.com, this is no longer a problem. No more months-long quandaries about that creepy guy in The Hole. The interweb knows all.

This is Daniel Brocklebank aka Martyn from The Hole (2001)

This is Daniel Brocklebank aka Martyn from The Hole (2001)

Just ook at him now!

Just look at him now!

3. Acceptable Stalking

As a fairly balanced individual, I don’t really partake of stalking in real life, but quite fantastically, stalking online isn’t really stalking, is it? If you followed your ex’s new partner down the street, you’d probably be in trouble, but on the internet it’s OK because everyone’s doing it. The best excuse for most things, I find.

Not appropriate.

Not appropriate.

Appropriate.

Appropriate.

4. Medical Sites

This one is a personal favourite and admittedly, there are quite a few pitfalls. But really, honestly, can you say it’s not a good thing to have the NHS’s back catalogue at your fingertips? Self-diagnosed cancer is so much more gratifying. Especially when it turns out to be an enlarged gland.

medi type

(REASONS TO BE PISSED OFF: BT Broadband adverts)

Just get out.

Just get out.

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