Reasons To Be Cheerful #37: Summer Fashion Types

18 Jul

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Causing much consternation for Australians that came here to escape the sun (and culture void), the long-awaited heatwave is making many a ripple across the fabric of the country. As always, fashion is at the forefront of all cultural and social change and it is up and down the nation’s urban catwalks (read: route to your office) that we begin to see the changes take place. Feet are out, moods are lighter and people are daring to bare; or not, as the case may be. Here are my reasons to be cheerful:

1. The All-Outs

Undoubtedly my personal favourite, the all-outs weigh in heavily on the side of dare to bare. These are the people that are actually in possession of the magazine mythical summer wardrobe. I’m talking about the colleague that spent the last eight months in a variation on low ponytail/peplum dress/ killer heels, who now swans in with summery Beyonce hair extensions, sheer, floaty dresses and jewelled sandals. You know, the one that opts for a ‘demure’ maxi with a thigh high slit and keeps her sunnies on until she hits her desk. This is your All-Out summer fashion type.

Casual Tuesday

Casual Tuesday

2. The DGAFs (Don’t give a fucks)

The polar opposite of the all-out, your standard DGAF doesn’t necessarily dislike the hot weather, he’s just indifferent to it and absolutely not willing to adapt. DGAF eschews ventilated footwear for heavy boots and thinks nothing of wearing head-to-toe black in the searing heat. Don’t be surprised to see a DGAF casually eating a hot and spicy dansak in the full glare of the sun.

Cool as a hot cucumber

Cool as a hot cucumber

3. The Reluctants

Your average reluctant is the kind of person that likes to be able to wear the same outfit fairly regularly. So, when there’s a dramatic temperature change, this type is stumped. What do you do? You’ll see the reluctant uncomfortably carrying on in winter clothes for a good couple of weeks before they accept that their wear is inappropriate. The reaction, when it happens, will inevitably be exceedingly practical and exceedingly ugly. For men, expect vests in primary colours and over-the-knee khaki shorts. For women, lightwear floral dresses that would probably flatter someone either 15 years older or 15 years ago.

Just no.

Just no.

4. The Unfortunates

These are the lepers of this post – the people that, because of work, are forced to wear highly impractical clothing and tightly-fastened ties; whose sweat glands are too responsive for even a pretence at being cool. So next time you have to stand under one of these people’s armpits on a bus or train, put yourself in their shoes. Then move away as quickly as possible.

This guy. On a train near you coming soon

This guy. Getting on a train near you soon.

(REASONS TO BE PISSED OFF: It’s hard to be compassionate when someone else’s sweat is dripping on you on the Northern Line)

Living the dream

Living the dream

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