Reasons To Be Cheerful #42: Beauty Trends

6 Aug

When it comes to make-up I normally take a laissez-faire/can’t be fucked approach which involves blindly applying bronzer until I can actually feel the healthy glow. This has not stopped me from lusting after more high maintenance girls’ flawless looks, it’s just that I can’t quite see my purse stretching to £30+ for a decent brand of foundation. Just think of the pub losses. The point is, today I was informed that the dewy skin favoured by the Made in Chelsea crew has been replaced by matte (you know, like Boots photos) and it was this crushing blow that got me to pondering the nature of trends in beauty.

1. There’s Something For Everyone

Not all of us possess the requisite skills or base (face) for this season’s contoured cheekbones and neon pink eyeliner, but if you’re talking bushy eyebrows or going ‘au naturel’, well then, a few of us might be in with a chance. Slight problems though: 1. not everyone’s bushy brows look like Queen Cara Delevingne’s – many are more redolent of Sandy Cohen’s from the OC (I know it’s an old reference, but it works). And 2. au naturel does not indeed do what it says on the tin. But we’ll come to that in the next point.

On second viewing, Sandy's brows are actually pretty good.

On second viewing, Sandy’s brows are actually pretty good. I’ll take back the last part.

2. The Au Natch Look

Going barefaced, possessing a fresh look, having ‘just got out of bed hair’, being ‘au naturel’; all the above are just ways of saying use make-up to make it look like you don’t have any make-up on. Personally, I’m all for this look. Everyone thinks you are a glowing natural beauty, when in fact you are just an adept applier of touche eclat. Unfortunately, I do not own a touche eclat. And I’m not sure how au naturel I look when the bronzer hastily applied at 8am turns into weird blocks of bronze that occupy random parts of my face at 8pm. Still, the potential is there.

Faux naturel

Faux naturel.

3. The Repeat Effect

As with fashion and Eastenders storylines, everything comes BACK AROUND. If you were a pessimist you could see this as a sad lack of originality or a cynical ploy to keep revenues high by only introducing tried-and-tested methods – you know, like how they keep bringing out remakes and prequels of superhero films. I choose to see the good. It means time to PRACTICE. Maybe you didn’t quite get nude lips last time, your hair was all wrong. Or you didn’t hit up metallic nails ’til it was sooo last season. Well, this season you can try again. You can get it right.

4. The Sky’s The Limit

Beauty sections in Glamour and Cosmopolitan never tell you how to not look like you’ve had two hours’ sleep or to make your hair just about passable for work, or how to create a look where your eyes have almost equal amounts of eyeliner on them. They aim high. It’s all about FLAWLESS looks, and doing the PERFECT this and that. Basically, it’s empowerment. Through beauty.

Photoshop not included

Photoshop not included

(REASONS TO BE PISSED OFF: Red lips are STILL being passed off as a seasonal trend. I mean really)




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