Reasons To Be Cheerful #43: The Fashion Pack

8 Aug

cara alone

For every generation there’s at least one fash pack that rules the roost. At present, it just so happens to be that of gurning party girl Cara Delevingne. But Caz is not the first and nor will she be the last. She’s one member of an ongoing succession of Balenciaga-clad cliques that louche and lounge about in lives that eschew 9-5 dulldom for mild eating disorders and fabulous footwear. Not that I’m jealous or anything. Here’s a divvying up of types and a few reasons to be cheerful:

1. The Young + Hot Pack

When in Zoolander, Mugatu proclaimed ‘Hansel, so hot right now’ he knew what he was talking about. But Hansel is so 2001. 2013 is for Cara Delevigne, Georgia Jagger, Pixie Geldof, Rihanna, Olivia Palermo, Alexa Chung and co. Sorry, Rita Ora, you’re not on the list. The young, hot things are the 21st century equivalent of the 1920s bright, young things. Just without the literature. But, hey, what’s a girl to do? When life is one long party, there’s not much for it but to look good in a shorts suit and this lot have got it down pat.

Oh, and Suki Waterhouse. Obvs they're all VERY different

Oh, and Suki Waterhouse. Obvs they’re all VERY different

2. Old School Cool Pack

To growing old cocaine free??

To growing old cocaine free??

This one’s for the post-teen generation and it’s led by none other than La Moss -obviously. Apart from the fact that she looks better than 99% of the population in ballet flats and skinny jeans while sporting lank hair (admit it), she continues to march ahead of her younger imitators through sheer aloofness. You won’t catch Kate gurning it up in an online cooking show. Unlike Jourdan Dunn and CDV, Kate knows better than to pretend that she eats actual meals.

Other members include Sadie Frost, Pearl Lowe, Liberty Ross, Stella McCartney 

3. The Play It Safe Pack

Gwy goes for edge with a bit of side boob

Gwyn goes for edge with a bit of side boob

This one’s for your Gwynnies, Anistons Kate Winslets and Selena Gomezs/Gomezezes (?). Yes, you might always look lovely: preened, groomed, perfectly blow-dried and exhibiting a healthy glow that is probably part-bottle and part real sun; but you’re so….. safe. These ladies would never dream of branching out unless it’s a case of going a little too sheer in the pursuit of ‘edge’. You can expect repeats of the outfit that ‘works’ – the silhouette dress, the skinny jeans and silk top with nude stilettos, the delicately-placed and highly inoffensive necklace. It all just makes you want to vomit from boredom, doesn’t it?

4. The Avant Garde Pack

Yes Tilda!

Yes Tilda!

This pack’s a little smaller than the previous three. In fact, I can only think of three truly worth a mention, so I guess it’s a trio. There’s Lady Gaga – she wore a steak. Then there’s Nicki Minaj, who while essentially being a t+a* show (of which I don’t approve), is undeniably kooky, and in possession of more wigs than your average ethnic hair shop. And last, but certainly not least, is Tilda Swinton. She accomplishes the fait accompli of pulling off avant garde with her classiness intact: all androgyny and sexiness and sharp tailoring. She’s also never subjected us to duos with Chris Brown or naked selfies where she pretends not to be wearing make-up.

*c’maaaan, it’s tits and arse!

Naomi, all is forgiven (maybe not by your assistant doe)

Naomi, all is forgiven (although I can’t speak for your assistant)

(REASONS TO BE PISSED OFF: The 90s supermodels are no longer a unified pack)


4 Responses to “Reasons To Be Cheerful #43: The Fashion Pack”

  1. MasonBentley August 11, 2013 at 10:47 am #

    I always wonder how Cara does it. She is everywhere. But very glad she brought back eyebrows! xxx

    • lbellinlondon August 12, 2013 at 1:01 pm #

      I’m a little unsure. She’s such a flavour of the month. I’m getting a bit bored of her now

  2. Hung Tran October 16, 2013 at 1:01 pm #

    This is hilarious! I like to think I could be part of the avant garde pack one day, but I’m probably part of the playing it safe pack.

    • lbellinlondon October 16, 2013 at 6:01 pm #

      Thanks Hung! I think we all ‘know’ the safe pack is the really cool, kind of underground one. I love your blog by the way.

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