Reasons To Be Cheerful #46: The Work Party

22 Aug

pumpkin hats

Ah the work party, place of dreams. Where else can you get royally drunk and slag off your workplace whilst enjoying drinks courtesy of said workplace and conversing with your boss? There’s really nothing quite like it. Having just attended my first summertime office party I have been reminded of the corporate shindig’s many positive attributes, and it is upon these that I base this blog.

1. Making New Friends (Reaching Out)

When you work in an office of around 700 people it can be easy to dismiss around 90% of them as people that you a) have no interest in; and b) will never go to lunch with. So it’s great, when at the work party, you get the chance to spread your wings and really go for it and make those connections. And what better way of ‘reaching out’ than to discover mutual dislike of certain colleagues whilst downing Sambucas? It’s also a great time to exchange email addresses and organise lunch dates that will be instantly regrettable.

Your new best FRIEND

Your new best FRIEND.

2. The Freebies

Even though your job might not be a glamorous one that includes entertaining clients at swish lap dance clubs and evenings out glugging Bollinger, there is always the prospect of free drinks at the work party. At my work parties – well the ones since the company wasn’t doing so well anyway – we have drinks tokens. Two each. But that’s fine; you’ve gone for the company, not the booze. Haven’t you?



3. Connecting With Management

Even in a ‘flat hierarchy’ like the one that allegedly exists at my workplace, it can be hard to have normal down-to-earth chats with your equal superiors. They’re in meetings, you’re trying to be inconspicuous about online shopping, you know how it is. But the work party – when everyone’s hair is down – is a key time for forming mutually beneficial bonds. It’s probably best to discuss shared interests like golf or world of warcraft. Unfortunately more common topics include: why the new office is shit, why you believe your boss has stifled your creativity, the stinginess of milk provisions and the stinginess of your salary.

"I just think I have some really great ideas"

“I just think I have some really great ideas”

4. Gossip

I’ve mentioned in previous posts how danny dyer Mondays at work are. The only time that a Monday is ever, ever any good at work is when there are whispers going around the office about Friday night. Obviously, work parties are the prime sources for said whispers and at every one I attend I do my best to find out as much as possible without being in any way involved. It’s a lot like going through the bases at secondary school really. A snog is a standard, a fingering in the corner is juicy and full on going-home-together sex is gold star. There are also extra points if one of the involved parties is already involved with someone else from work. Fisticuffs  are even better.

One drink too many. Gossip fodder..

One drink too many can = gossip fodder..

(REASONS TO BE PISSED OFF: Parties are never actually in the office like in films. )

office party in office


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