Reasons To Be Cheerful #47: Digital Relationships

27 Aug

Punch-You-In-Face

Perhaps sadly for those of you  looking for love, this post does not concern the world of online dating.  No, this post is about the over-sharing, over-cringing and over-documenting that exists in many a modern, social media-led relationship.

From the moment you tell Facebook you’re ‘in a relationship’ to the moment you begin writing passive aggressive statuses about a certain someone’s lies and broken promises, you’ve been crossing that line. Here are the reasons to be cheerful for it.

ff

In a pickle?

1. Just The Two of Us… (And Our Combined 1,455 Friends)

As anyone who is unhappily single will know, the main reason that people like to be in relationships is to experience the close, loving bond that comes only when you share yourself – body and soul – with that special someone. And what better way to enhance that bond than by making it explicit to 500-odd digital friends like Sammy from primary school and Jim, that guy you met on a night out four years ago?

2. A Problem Shared..

complicated

Back in the dark ages, if a couple experienced a ‘rough patch’ they would deal with it in a crude and base manner. Talking or shouting things over and perhaps trying to turn mutual friends against each other with complaints of ill-use and being taken for granted. These days, however, the tools for problem solving are finely-honed. You don’t even need a phone to garner sympathy. All it takes is a suitably mysterious and melancholy facebook status about a thinly-veiled someone. And if that doesn’t help solve the problem, at least the world knows about your personal emotional rollercoaster.

3. Texts To The Wall

Why go to the effort of picking up your phone when you can log onto your spouse’s facebook wall to send highly personal and/or inane messages about things like buying milk and missing each other? This surely, is the beauty of the digital age.

4. The Pre-Wedding Cull

This special picture is for close friends only

This special picture is for close friends only

This one’s only recently been brought to my attention and truth be told, I wish it was a little more widely used. I’m talking about the moment when couples get serious. The ring is on, the facebook status has been upgraded to ‘engaged’ and it’s time to remove the ‘friends’ who don’t deserve the great pleasure of having their facebooks bombarded with your big day’s photos. So goodbye old flirtations, schoolfriends you haven’t seen for years and your former, chavvy colleagues. Only the lucky few (300) get to see these wedding pics.

(REASONS TO BE PISSED OFF: You just wrote a life-affirming status about being strong on your own. Shit.)

Inspiring

Inspiring

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