Unless you’ve been residing in a Chilean coal mine for some time you’re probably aware that it is CHRISTMAS NEXT WEEK. It would be pretty hard to ignore the saccharine Lily Allen vocals combined with the unlikely bear/hare partnership that signifies Crimbo 2013, but who would want to ignore it? Christmas is a sparkly time of festivity and only bah humbugs and the homeless would choose not to revel in its glory. So, reasons to be cheerful..
1. A Time For Family
We all know that Christmas isn’t about presents. Not really. It’s not about Jesus either, or Mary or the little donkey. It’s about spending some QT with the fam. Sharing laughs and good times. Attempting to mask your hangover with copious amounts of Baileys and hoping that noone gets too drunk and passive aggressive. Ensuring that family rivalries don’t come up, that siblings don’t make their dislike for in-laws obvious. That’s why it’s best to stick the telly on. Sharing (Eastenders) is caring.
2. Morning Drinking
For most people, drinking before midday is not really an acceptable pasttime. This is largely due to the perception that most of those choosing to indulge in the morning are carrying a can of Superbrew in a plastic bag and enjoying their residence on a park bench. But the 25 December is a wholly different ball game. You start the day with a glass of Cava because it’s the POLITE THING TO DO. No questions asked.
3. The Adverts
In these times of austerity, Christmas money is even more important than it ever was. It’s where the shops make the BIG BUCKS of the year. And a lot of those cash wads are directed to the shops via heartstring-wrenching adverts. John Lewis’s hare and bear ad has led to record sales for the retailer and is – bewilderingly – the year’s biggest (crimbo) ad hit. The magic is lost on me, just in the same way the magic of the KFC ad is lost in me. Who the hell is eating a jumbo bucket on Christmas day and happy about it? I’m just not sure. But gems like the M&S one that brings Helena Bonham Carter and Rosie Huntington Whiteley together for an orgy of double barrels and a bit of David Gandy.. that one is fine by me.
The Lord said its is more blessed to give than to receive, but I don’t think when he said that, he had dads in mind. When you’ve exhausted DVD and book and aftershave and tie possibilities, what is there left to buy for a dad? After a while buying them Andrew Marr’s latest literary effort feels a little bit mean and unthoughtful. Lucky then, that dads (in my experience) aren’t that fussed about the pressies. Sort them a few drinks, hope they don’t make too many allusions to black sheep’s latest demeanours and you should be all set.
(REASONS TO BE PISSED OFF: The current (Danny) dire state of Eastenders that means I am not prepared for my usual crimbo day highlight – the double Easties spesh)