When in Zoolander, Slashies are given out for being the best actor slash model (and not the other way around), a trick was missed. What about the singer/actor and actor/singer slashies? These provide us with a rich mine of fine music and even finer acting. Unfortunately, those who make the crossover are often forgotten – left in the annals of the mediocre. I think this is a crying shame. So here’s to the slashies, let’s give them the love they deserve:
1. The Soap Stars
The soaps – and I would like a special mention to go to Eastenders here (Michelle Gayle anyone?) – have always been a breeding ground for talent. The alumni of Sylvia Young are not unlikely to turn up in one or other of them, and what this means is that our screens are dominated by all-singing, all-dancing, all-acting stars. Who remembers Adam Rickitt? No? He was hot stuff in Sugar magazine circa about 1999 when he left Corrie to pursue a music career. Granted he only released one of the six albums he signed to Polydor for, but he made it to number 5 in the singles chart. There was also Will Mellor (Jambo, Hollyoaks), Jennifer Ellison (Emily, Brookside) and cruise singing Claire Sweeney (also Brookie). But my all-time, hands down favourite has to be, without question, Sid Owen. Watch out for the wave, nine seconds in.
2. The Glamour Models
In 2005 Jordan, aka Katie Price when she’s being real, unsuccessfully attempted to enter the Eurovision song contest. While ‘Not Just Anybody’ criminally lost out to Javine’s offering, let us not forget the success she shared with Peter Andre on duet album, A Whole New World (number 8 in the UK chart. Seriously). But Jordan was not the first glamour model to turn her hand to music. Back in the ’80s we had page 3 favourite Sam Fox, who released ‘Touch Me (I want your body); and I doubt she will be the last.
3. The Try Hards
For every wannabe teen pop sensation there are a couple of actor/singers who want to turn it around. These born again singer/actors prefer to be known as artists and are ready to slate the soulless drivel wheeled out by the commercial pop industry. Unfortunately for them, earnestness does not equal talent. For cases in point please see Jared Leto and his quite successful (but shit) band, 30 Seconds to Mars, Gwyneth Paltrow, Keanu Reeves and Idris Elba who managed to trample all over his fucking cool persona with singles like ‘Private Garden’ – see below.
This song contains the lyrics: ‘let this brother enter your private garden’
4. The Reality Star/Singers
Ever since Craig Phillips, everyman and winner of Big Brother 1, released smash hit single, At This Time of Year, every reality star has been at it. From Kelly Osborne to Chanelle Hayes to – probably the most famous of the lot, Paris Hilton. Everyone’s favourite heiresse’s recent announcement that she is to re-enter the music fray caused quite a comedic stir on Twitter, with such gems as:
“I’m excited for Paris’s new album, the empire needs something awful sounding to torture the rebels with” (Darth Vader)
“Paris Hilton has signed to Cash Money, and will make a second album. I think I’d rather listen to a Mandrake scream without my earmuffs on” (Harry Potter)
“Paris Hilton is trending…. She’s releasing an album… The second act of terrorism in two days” (Ken Barlow)
(REASONS TO BE PISSED OFF: Why didn’t Sid Owen’s career take off?)
Reasons to be Cheerful (and Pissed Off) 