Tag Archives: adverts

Reasons To Be Cheerful #67: Cats in Ads

27 May

Just the other day I was tolerating the adverts during a break of some highbrow show like Made In Chelsea when my significant other commented, quite astutely, that cats are used to sell everything. I replied with the astute and potentially groundbreaking assertion ‘sex sells and cats are currency’. I tested out the popularity of this original aphorism by sharing it on facebook. It got 2 likes, but that’s a story for another day. The point is, cats are not just tools to gain more Youtube views, they are actual living, breathing, fluffy marketing tools for admen and I for one, welcome this wholeheartedly. Here are my reasons to be cheerful…

1. They Get to be Even Wilier Than Usual

Cats are pretty gaddamned wily. It’s what they’re known for. They play with your emotions and use their paws to get in the fridge if they can smell chicken. But in adworld, this is not enough to represent the feline species’ clear intellectual dominion over us. That’s why we get cats with opposable thumbs (Cravendale), talking cats (O2) and even cats that play the accordion (Crusha). What’s not to love?

2. They Don’t Need Sex to Sell Stuff

When I’m not enjoying a cat advert or being harassed by one that features a breathy idiot doing an inane cover of a once-great song, I seem to be watching Nichole Scherzinger do her best not to Scherzizz all over herself as she over-enjoys a yoghurt or shampooing session. I don’t need this in my life. I also do not appreciate whichever advertising guru decided that eating a low fat yoghurt was tantamount to enjoying an orgy. But, I digress. This is reasons to be cheerful and the great thing about cats is that they transcend sexiness. They just don’t need to try, which is more than I can say for some people…

Real cats don't need PVC

Real cats don’t need PVC

3. Cats are Natural Stars

Anyone that knows cats knows what natural superstars they are. The limelight just shines on them in a way that it doesn’t for most animals. And no wonder: these animals are just like Kate Moss – they go out at night, they avoid attention whilst effortlessly attracting it and they slink. All of these qualities plus their good looks make cats obvious icons of the screen. Even when the campaign claims to be about dogs (O2’s be more dog), who fronts the ads? Why, cats of course.

 

4. CRUSHA

There’s really no need to use words to explain this one. Just watch the clip.

 

(REASONS TO BE PISSED OFF: ‘Mullerlicious’)

Reasons To Be Cheerful #45: The Internet

11 Jul

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The birth of the internet opened doors for people everywhere. Education and academia at our very fingertips; endless possibilities to learn about all walks of life, newly-discovered species and philosophical theories. Of course, for most people, all this roughly translates as porn. Still though. Reasons to be cheerful…

1. Welcome Diversions

In the 21st century there can surely be no such thing as being ‘bored’ any longer. Even the dullest of office jobs now come with a computer and unless you’re unfortunate enough to work in a Stalinesque environment where they actually expect you to work all day, that means you can do almost anything. Listen to old Desert Island Discs, google image Michael Fassbender, catch up on celeb gossip or Wikipedia the history of Coronation Street. You can also practice speed typing. You might even make it to 90 wpm.

At least seven minutes' distraction

At least seven minutes’ distraction

2. Mystery Solving

It is a universally acknowledged fact that the most annoying thing in the world is to be beset by the question ‘what have I seen him/her in before?’. Thanks to imdb.com, this is no longer a problem. No more months-long quandaries about that creepy guy in The Hole. The interweb knows all.

This is Daniel Brocklebank aka Martyn from The Hole (2001)

This is Daniel Brocklebank aka Martyn from The Hole (2001)

Just ook at him now!

Just look at him now!

3. Acceptable Stalking

As a fairly balanced individual, I don’t really partake of stalking in real life, but quite fantastically, stalking online isn’t really stalking, is it? If you followed your ex’s new partner down the street, you’d probably be in trouble, but on the internet it’s OK because everyone’s doing it. The best excuse for most things, I find.

Not appropriate.

Not appropriate.

Appropriate.

Appropriate.

4. Medical Sites

This one is a personal favourite and admittedly, there are quite a few pitfalls. But really, honestly, can you say it’s not a good thing to have the NHS’s back catalogue at your fingertips? Self-diagnosed cancer is so much more gratifying. Especially when it turns out to be an enlarged gland.

medi type

(REASONS TO BE PISSED OFF: BT Broadband adverts)

Just get out.

Just get out.