Walking through the tube station the other night I was baffled to find myself face to face with Ronan Keating, Shane Lynch, Keith Duffy and Mikey Graham. Also known as… BZ20. I know I know that you’re wondering who on earth is Mikey Graham and where oh where is Stephen Gateley? (in heaven). But that’s not the point. The point is that musical reunions are happening left, right and centre and it’s about time that this blog had its say on the matter.
1. The Deluded Ones
Everyone agrees that the return of Take That was a GOOD THING. They are a manband now, Gary is quite fit et cetera, but what of their influence? Is that a good thing? Personally, I feel that Gary has a lot to answer for, and four of those things are the erstwhile members of Blue. Touted as the big dogs of ‘The Big Reunion’ (see below) – it was pretty clear from the off that Blue’s reunion was an inevitable eventuality that was cared about by hardly anyone. Without forgetting that they’d already returned in a blaze of failure, during 2011’s Eurovision Song Contest (11th place), Blue’s ‘big’ return to the pop game happened earlier this year. They joined ITV’s the Big Reunion fashionably late, claiming they were too successful to perform at more than four dates and can currently be found supporting Wet Wet Wet. One love.
2. The Desperate Ones
This is basically the entire cast of The Big Reunion: a show that gave desperado ex-popstars the chance of a comeback. The alumni? Honeyz, B*witched, 911, 5ive, Atomic Kitten and Liberty X. We also need to include Steps, who – though not on the Big Reunion – were reunited by the weight problems of ballooned member, Claire, who got a bit of airtime thanks to a redondy BBC3 programme about losing weight. Between them, this group of groups notched up a grand total of ten number ones. Lezzbehonest, they’ve hardly been missed on the pop scene. But, as luck would have it, an illustrious combination of bankruptcy, desperate attention-seeking and a continued attempt by ITV to appeal to the lowest common denominator, brought these former stars back onto our screens and into our hearts. Get your tickets here.
3. The Embarassing Ones
This is a tough one, as every band on here has their fair share of mishaps and general existence to be embarassed about, but I think that the ones who should be really really embarassed are the ones who trod on actual reputations. When the Spice Girls announced their return, there was genuine excitement. Talent or no, this group was big, they were girl power and their like hasn’t been seen since (Girls Aloud might have better songs, but they’ve got no teeth). But to reunite and then cut their tour short due to ‘family and personal commitments’ – also known as not selling many tickets – was straight up embarrassment. Much like Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones and Arrested Development, they should not have come back.
4. The Innovative Ones
I’ve already said that Take That gets the prize for best pop comeback, but I’m not about to call them innovative. They just learnt how to do designer stubble and happened to have a decent songwriter in their employ. It’s not exciting. What is more exciting is the fusion of Busted and McFly, or McBusted as they are now known. You’ve got to give them props for originality and you can certainly see the thought process behind this: 20% popularity + 60% popularity = 80% POPULARITY = HITS. YAY! Only time will tell if McBusted has what it takes to compete in a field dominated by dodgy quiffs and Harry Styles. Here’s hoping for a Robbie style Charlie comeback.
(REASONS TO BE PISSED OFF: Quotes like this from ex-Busted, Charlie Simpson: “Lots of people say to me, I completely hate Busted. I understand why”. Not cool Charlie. Not gracious, at all..)