Tag Archives: marketing

Reasons To Be Cheerful #67: Cats in Ads

27 May

Just the other day I was tolerating the adverts during a break of some highbrow show like Made In Chelsea when my significant other commented, quite astutely, that cats are used to sell everything. I replied with the astute and potentially groundbreaking assertion ‘sex sells and cats are currency’. I tested out the popularity of this original aphorism by sharing it on facebook. It got 2 likes, but that’s a story for another day. The point is, cats are not just tools to gain more Youtube views, they are actual living, breathing, fluffy marketing tools for admen and I for one, welcome this wholeheartedly. Here are my reasons to be cheerful…

1. They Get to be Even Wilier Than Usual

Cats are pretty gaddamned wily. It’s what they’re known for. They play with your emotions and use their paws to get in the fridge if they can smell chicken. But in adworld, this is not enough to represent the feline species’ clear intellectual dominion over us. That’s why we get cats with opposable thumbs (Cravendale), talking cats (O2) and even cats that play the accordion (Crusha). What’s not to love?

2. They Don’t Need Sex to Sell Stuff

When I’m not enjoying a cat advert or being harassed by one that features a breathy idiot doing an inane cover of a once-great song, I seem to be watching Nichole Scherzinger do her best not to Scherzizz all over herself as she over-enjoys a yoghurt or shampooing session. I don’t need this in my life. I also do not appreciate whichever advertising guru decided that eating a low fat yoghurt was tantamount to enjoying an orgy. But, I digress. This is reasons to be cheerful and the great thing about cats is that they transcend sexiness. They just don’t need to try, which is more than I can say for some people…

Real cats don't need PVC

Real cats don’t need PVC

3. Cats are Natural Stars

Anyone that knows cats knows what natural superstars they are. The limelight just shines on them in a way that it doesn’t for most animals. And no wonder: these animals are just like Kate Moss – they go out at night, they avoid attention whilst effortlessly attracting it and they slink. All of these qualities plus their good looks make cats obvious icons of the screen. Even when the campaign claims to be about dogs (O2’s be more dog), who fronts the ads? Why, cats of course.

 

4. CRUSHA

There’s really no need to use words to explain this one. Just watch the clip.

 

(REASONS TO BE PISSED OFF: ‘Mullerlicious’)

Reasons To Be Cheerful #53: Recruitment People

2 Oct

handshake

In my lengthy dealings with the people who call themselves ‘recruitment consultants’, it has become increasingly apparent that the potential bridge between me and my dream job is – to be quite frank – formed from a barage of idiots and liars.

They join the salespeople, the taxmen and the estate agents in that special low place at the bottom of the general (self-respecting) public’s esteem. They speak in jargon, perpetuate bullshit and are generally bad for the soul, but as I’ve always said, noone’s all rotten. Even Mussolini had his good points I’m sure. So let’s dig deep for the reccies…

'Please don't expect to hear from me again'

‘Please don’t expect to hear from me again’

1. They’re Good at Getting Back To You

Say what you want about recruitment people, but if they like your CV they will call you as soon as they’ve seen it. I like to see the subsequent interrogations – in the disabled loo, always during work hours – as a good 20 minutes of interview practice. I mean, there’s no use getting annoyed just cos they asked you questions instead of actually reading your CV, before failing to ever contact you again.

2. They Know Their Shit

Being told that I ‘sound like a social media whizz’ by a recruitment person who’s not even on Twitter, but who is calling me about a marketing job, well there’s no compliment quite like it. And when she follows her informed comments with an emailed person specification that fails to match me on a multitude of levels, well that’s even better.

3. They Say What They Mean and They Mean What They Say

When a recruitment worker says, under no duress, ‘I’ll send you an email this afternoon’ you just need to know that ‘this afternoon’ roughly translates to ‘the 12th of Never‘. And when they say ‘you’re a perfect fit for this role’ you just need to know that what that means is ‘you’ll never hear from me again‘. It really is that simple.

4. If They Can’t Help You They Know Someone Who Can

Sometimes – admittedly occasionally – recruiters admit on the phone that X or Y job isn’t right for you. Clearly this is a questionable strategy as compared to the usual strategy of straight lies, but us jobhunters can take it. Anyway, when this unusual turn of events does occur, it often turns out that recruiter’s colleague has many more roles that are right up your street. They’ll be passing your details on. Expect a call soon (see point 3).

(REASONS TO BE PISSED OFF: How can there always be recruitment positions when there are no other jobs?)